Re: Bovine auto-eroticism and deer repellants
Keith,
I somehow suspect you are a writer,if not consider doing so, as this was a
delightful accounting of your circumstance.....
Dont mean to make light of it but this is one of the most humorous writtings I
have encountered in a long while.
Thanks for sharing your brand of humor.
Connie
> Anyway, to get this back on topic somewhat, I'd like to address the subject
> of ravaging deer again. I live in Wyoming County, Western New York. This
> is a truly rural area, and there's nothing but cattle farms and wilderness
> between any given point 'a' and point 'b'. Being a city boy (New Orleans,
> DC, Seattle, LA) it's been quite an adjustment to finally have all the
> gardening space I could possibly desire and to find ways to co-exist with
> the ravenous fauna, Bambi in particular. My home was built in 1972 by a
> priest who had a degree in horticulture. When I purchased it in 1992, one
> of the things that sold me immediately was the landscaping: hundreds of
> Colorado Blue Spruces, 50 or 60 white Birches and enormous Arborvitae
> hedges. The second year I was here the Bronze Birch Borer arrived and
> cheerfully destroyed the Birches. My third year here I spent several days
> with a chain saw cutting down all but 6 of the Birch trees, which turned out
> to be borer resistant varieties (for now); the rest of the year I spent in
> mourning.
>
> Up until then the deer hadn't really posed a problem, and since the
> Arborvitae hadn't been touched, I assumed they weren't to the deer's liking.
> I'd had the occasional problem with the rose gardens (at last count I have
> 150 roses - mostly species, David Austins and Old Garden Roses) and,
> needless to say, the vegetable garden, but not enough to get a gun or invest
> in a fence of some kind. Until this year. For whatever reason the
> bastar....uh...beautiful woodland creatures decided to attack the hedges
> with a vengeance. The damage has been unbelievable and it makes me sick to
> even think about it, much less pass it several times a day. And after what
> happened to the Birches, I'm not taking any more damage lightly. I got out
> my trusty little 'Critter Gitter' and rotated it around the property, yet
> herds of deer continued to use the landscaping as their buffet. Sometime
> around Christmas I became semi-hysterical and went searching every garden
> department of every store within a 50 mile radius for any brand of deer
> repellent. Since everything garden related was moved to make way for
> Christmas ornaments (box after box of those ubiquitous icicle lights!!!
> Ack!!! And wire-frame deer lawn ornaments!!!) I couldn't find a thing even
> remotely related to gardening, much less something as specific as deer
> repellent. So, I went home and researched homemade recipes and threw one
> together. In my frenzy I was uncertain which to use, so I simply mixed
> together The Mother of all homemade deer repellents. Putting on snow gear,
> I trudged through 3 foot snow drifts, 16F degree, snowing weather and
> sprayed the entire perimeter of my property (6.4 acres) with this
> concoction.
>
> Quite frankly, I think I'm fortunate to be alive, and I'm still amazed that
> gardening has driven me to such extreme physical and mental overdrive.
> However, the herds of rampaging beasts have not set hoof on my property
> since I sprayed that voodoo brew. I don't really know why it worked, but
> all I know is that so far, the deer are steering a wide path around me. I
> realize that the hordes could return at any time, but I do feel all is not
> totally lost. This Summer I might finally get around to installing an
> electric fence. Or perhaps next Autumn, during rutting season, I'll dress
> up a barrel like a fetching Bambina and give Bambino an electric surprise
> he'll never forget.
>
> So, if anyone wants to know what the formula was, here it is: break 8 eggs
> into a blender, add an oil based sticker-spreader (vegetable oil or Safers),
> add water halfway up, blend, and here's the fun part, about an ounce of high
> quality clove oil (or more - I just kept dumping until my eyes watered).
> Blend well, add more water, then add a drop or two of dishwashing detergent.
> Blend until it looks frighteningly foamy. Sieve into a five gallon sprayer
> and spray recklessly on anything not moving. I concentrated on tree trunks
> and such since evergreens can be damaged by ANY spray when it's below 40F,
> but so far everything looks fine. I will admit that I did respray last
> month, but changed the formula a bit, using camphor oil instead of clove.
> Whatever - it seems to work. Next month it's my beloved grandmother's
> heirloom gallon of 'Evening in Paris'.
>
> Sorry this was so long, but I sincerely hope it helps someone with a similar
> problem.
>
> Keith, WNY, zone 5
>
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