Re: North America Challenge
- To: pumpkins@mallorn.com
- Subject: Re: North America Challenge
- From: P* <P*@aol.com>
- Date: Fri, 2 Jan 1998 21:19:55 EST
Calling all U.S. Growers, Calling all U.S. growers!,
I just knew it! My worst fears have been realized. The Canadians have
intercepted my secret coded message to Chris A. As you can see, Gus is already
starting to mobilize the troops. The Canadian pumpkin navy might out gun us
with their numbers and the tonnage of their vessels, but all hope is not lost.
With proper tactics and training we can prevail. Divide and conquer? Maybe. We
can't depend on any help from New Zealand or the Aussies unless we can get
some of them to grow pumpkins during their winter in greenhouses ( I bet the
wives would love that). I'm afraid we must go it alone. We have the better
part of a year to get ready for them. #1 it is of the utmost importance that
we grow as many 700 plus pounders as possible. #2 we must send agents to the
Ottawa seminar to gather intelligence.....see if there are any chinks in the
armor. #3 Gary Keyzer and the Midwest pumpkin chunkers must get together to
defend the heartland. I figure that Keyzer can take his fertilizer contraption
on the picnic table and modify it with the help of the pumpkin chunkers. That
could be an awesome defensive weapon, should Gus and the Sarnia boys try for a
sneak attack on Lake Michigan. How could it come to this? Scales are no longer
an effective way to settle pumpkin disputes? We must fight our battles on the
high seas? I regret that I have but one pumpkin to give to my country! We have
nothing to fear but fear itself. Now is not the time for knee jerk
reactions....cool heads must prevail. AMERICA......Man (and women) your
rototillers, pick up your manure forks, turn your compost piles. It is time
for all good growers to come to the aid of their country!
moc.loa@yugnikmup
(coded screen name)
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