The Real Truth behind Milk & Pumpkins

Once upon a time in a Manhattan advertising firm, the Milk Producers of America brought their concerns regarding negative trends in milk consumption.
 
The Agency's first associate stood to present his proposal.  "What we really need is a catchy phrase that will make people think more about milk, and thinking more about milk, they will drink more of it.  I propose a multi-million dollar advertising campaign using the theme "Got Milk?"
 
He was abruptly tarred, feathered and ran out of town on a pole for such a lame idea.
 
The Agency's second associate, noticeably apprehensive after witnessing his first tar and feathering, made his presentation while standing close to the door.  "I propose that we get together hordes of celebrities, paint their upper lip white and convince the world that it is cool to have a milk mustache."
 
Even a kindergartener knows that a milk mustache is a mistake, not a sign of coolness, so this associate was condemned to a fate worse than death.  Yes, they sent him to the West Coast to spend time amongst the aforementioned celebrities.
 
Well, the president of the milk producers association was tiring.  He stood up, leaned over the desk placing his fists squarely upon it like pillars holding up the weight of a mausoleum and he said.  "Gentlemen, you don't seem to understand, in our industry it is now midnight and we are about to turn into the biggest pumpkin you have ever seen."
 
New Yorkers sometimes have difficulty with metaphors, analogies, similes, etc.  Yes, they misunderstood him that day.  That day was the beginning of the urban legend that milk leads to the enhanced growth of pumpkins.  Now, you know the rest of the story.
----- Original Message -----
From: P*@sbcglobal.net
To: p*@hort.net
Cc: b*@kih.net
Sent: Thursday, September 19, 2002 10:44 PM
Subject: RE: pumpkins

Hi Bonnie,
Milk has absolutely no nutritional value when it comes to
growing pumpkins.
For further information go to the mallorn list archives at
 
Do a search for the word milk for 1997 thru 2002 and you
will find over 300 entries that might help your granddaughter
with her science project.
If I can be of further help feel free to contact me
at P*@sbcglobal.net
 
Good luck with this project.
George Webster
Napa,  CA
-----Original Message-----
From: owner-pumpkins@hort.net [mailto:owner-pumpkins@hort.net]On Behalf Of Bonnie Hook
Sent: Thursday, September 19, 2002 7:03 PM
To: pumpkins@mallorn.com
Subject: pumpkins

Dear Sir:
Can you tell me where to find information concerning the growing of pumpkins using milk.  This is a science project for my 6th. grade granddaughter. 
We live on a farm, and currently have very young pumpkins (still green) in the field.  I have seen articles on this procedure, but naturally none that I can put my hands on.
Any help that you can give would be greatly appreciated.
 
Thank You
B. Hook    b*@kih.net
Maysville, Kentucky
Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index