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Stan's strip (flower and veggie)


I'mmmmmmmm Baaaaaaaaaaaaak.
I am feeling much better now.
     They took, I mean, I went away for a while.  That happens
every so often.  That's why I try to make my
garden self sufficient.  

So, last spring, I'm sitting here and I says to myself, "Self", (that's
what I call myself when we talk), I says "Self", and Self says
to me, "Shhhhhh, not so loud, Meathead, the govment might
still be listening in on your braces."  Meathead.  That's what
Self calls me when we talk in private. So I whispers to Self,
I says "Self, what say we take Robbie (that's the name of
our rototiller) out back and cut a strip about 80 feet long
and plant some purty flowers?  I love purty flowers.  We 
don't have to tell those veggie people anything about planting
no flowers."  So, Self says, "OK, but we gots to do it on
the cheap.  Got any ideas, Meathead?"
     "Sure, I gots lots of ideas.  Got one about that Melrose Place
girl, if you want to here about it."
     "NO, Meathead, I mean any ideas about where we gets 
cheap flower seeds."
     "Oh, .......ah.......well......no."
     "Ok, here's the plan.  We goes to Home De Pot and we buys
twenty of them there flower seed packets that are dated 
for 1997.  They're only a nickel a packet.  That would mean
we could get a gazillion seeds for a dollar.  You got a dollar,
Meathead?"
     "No, but I once had a shinney new penny that I put in my shoe to
make it a penny loafer.  Kept getting a blister on my heal and always
walked in a circle after that."
     "Yeah, been there, done that.  Anyway, we can go to the mall
and fish out a hunnered pennies out of the fountain.  Maybe Robbie
will have that strip rototilled by the time we get back."
     Well, we got the seeds, and got back to the yard, and of
course, Robbie hadn't done anything yet.  But that's good ole
Robbie.  You gotta love him anyway.  
     We rototilled, (and sang a few songs as well) (Robbie has
a great baritone voice) and then scattered the seeds and 
raked them in and laid down a soaker hose on top and hooked
it to the garden soaker hose system.
     
     Well, its August now and not a single flower has emerged.
Not one!  Weeds, yes.  Flowers, no!.  (Self thinks it was something
in the water at the fountain that tainted the pennies).  I have no
ideas, (other than that one about that blonde on MP.)  Robbie
is still singing and lusting after The Little Engine That Could.
     Any ideas out there?  I mean ideas about the failed flower
experiment!
     Ops, I forgot, I wasn't going to mention anything about
this to you veggie people.  Please disregard.

Stan              the cheap and lazy gardener
Zone - Twilight
State - Confusion
Favorite vegetable - my son

P.S.  There was one tomato seed mixed in with all of those
         flower seeds, so this post IS veggie related.

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