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World Spathiphyllum and Big Bang

  • Subject: World Spathiphyllum and Big Bang
  • From: "Ron Iles" <roniles@eircom.net>
  • Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2001 22:40:40 -0500 (CDT)

Collecting Spathiphyllum in the 21st Century isn't easy.  Maybe I'll grow
just the ordinary kinds that everybody else seems to grow, just the few
unless.   I know little about Amorphophallus but obviously agree  that both
quantity and quality are important and so I began to wonder about
what we call things and Big Bang.  So, this is a little Stapelian breather
between AMP snortings.

Naming and ordering natural living things is called Taxonomy. It gives
"surnames" and
individual names in an evolution based  system dreamed up by Linnaeus when
Naturalists were.   Taxonomists dry newly discovered "wild" plants and keep
them like mummies in herbaria with their own and the mummies names on them
as memories of them for when the
real plants are extinct.   Plant taxonomy is based mostly on
what the plants look like.   In their obituaries, some taxonomists write
details of where the plants were found and include
photos which makes it more
interesting for newspaper readers.  Anyway its kinder
to a dying beast to show not only what it looked like but as much as
possible of
how and why and where it was.

Taxonomists often change the names,  If they are old, the names I mean, the
changes can be
confusing to people who actually grow
the living things and know differently a bit of what they, the things with
the names I mean, look like.

With all the possible hybrids even between different genera what "species"
means has become more and more difficult to decide.  How can one
ever really "name" a hybrid, a "variety" or a "cultivar"?   And now even
worse, there's "genetic engineering".   Man is making his own "species".
Now, you can
make a monkey which has jelly fish in it.  (It would be silly to do the
oppsite).   What kind of "species" or
family thing is that?   So now, in a very few years, after selective
breeding and tissue culture, we'll have "super
species" dominating the Earth.   Our super mothers and super
fathers may be say part bird, part fish, part Peace Lily?   How will we
really know what "species" "he" and "she" really were?   Linnaeus has been
noisy on
Death row for a long time.   Is he nearing Execution time?   He is?

Hurray!  INDIVIDUALS can now be identified by their DNA not just their
appearance.  They can be given
NUMBERS to tell all about their real Nature, not only their ancestry but
their potential.  Every
individual animal or plant can have a different number.  An infinite living
rainbow of noughts and ones.   No silly genera, no
frustrating species any more.   No
need for the ping pong of taxonomy.   DNAs analysed properly in a blink by
Computer and number coded.    Linnaeus gone gone dead dead.    Once we've
got the number we can each call it what we like, hundred of different things
with the same number.  God Numbers
back towards Big Bang telling from where
each and every one of us really came and proclaiming our inferiority or
superiority and pre-determining our destiny, ashcan or space rocket.   With
wilder than Fantasy Names.
Wild but independent of crude uncertain nasty Nature.   Diversity totally
limited and controlled by MAN.
Everything, everyone, with bar code tags to go though a million Life Bank
checkouts.   Blanket man made diversity everywhere.  Wonderful!  Far more
spectacular and better for wise Man. In this New Eugenic
Order (NEO), taxonomists won't need to work in the "field"
any more.
The boring old wild stuff will be in museums, herbaria mostly
safely dead, dried, stuffed or re-modelled.
Genetic engineering, zillion cloning and DNA tagging has signed Linnaeus's
Death Warrant. Botany can now just help Horticulture to
man-make gene pools so much better than wild.    The taxonomists,
conservationists and Nature Photographers and Film Makers all did their best
to record the uncontrolled disorderly mess that went before but....   So,
welcome to
the NEW diversities never dreamed of or allowed by Nature.....When one sees
what Man can do so rapidly to "natural species" by HIS selection it is
obvious that his wisdom will be the greatest thing since smoked chalk.  It
will be brilliant wall to wall monoculture for
the new superfolk.   Man's final tamed supremecy over Nature .
Travellers Trees, psychodelic Suwanees, twenty foot stinking Amorphophalli,
and other most desirable things never imaginable to Nature will be on tap to
Adult consumers everywhere.  The ordinary and boring can be relegated to the
obscurity where they belong.  Wonderful!
Tissue Culture Gardening is so much better than Botany at deciding on what
kinds things people really want.   In a few years I wonder
what rarities you'll collect? If you want enough they can always be
genetically engineered or the DNA brought back fro the dead and tissue
cultured back again. Wonderful.   I'm glad collecting all those wild
Spathiphyllum is so difficult now, the new kinds are so much better and you
can even buy them from the corner shop numbered properly so you can call
them as many names as you like.  Did you know there are only a measly forty
one wild dull Peace Lilies but soon there may be a thousand?

Nothing is certain of course and I may have it all wrong.  So - just to be
safe, anybudy got ANY gracious exquisitely perfumed green and white species
to spare?   I still need the small floribundum type with white midrib which
I got from Cali, Colombia over fifteen years back.  No DNA number maybe yet
but it's called "Mini" in
horticulture I think and apparently it hasn't been named as a species yet?
Can you help with that number please?

Ron Greenman

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