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RE: Advice-totally off topic

All I can add is to try to clearly and logically think through all the
ramifications of taking this step, all the pluses and minuses of how your
life will change.  And then just trust your heart to lead you in the right

Zone 7 - West TN

-----Original Message-----
From: owner-gardenchat@hort.net [mailto:owner-gardenchat@hort.net] On Behalf
Of Pam Evans
Sent: Sunday, December 28, 2008 4:28 PM
To: gardenchat@hort.net
Subject: Re: [CHAT] Advice-totally off topic

I'm afraid I would be the least qualified person on this list to give advice
on this particular topic.  Though I admire greatly your initiative for
considering such a big step.
I couldn't do it, but you're not me.  This is an immensely personal

On 12/28/08, james singer <inlandjim1@q.com> wrote:
> Heavy stuff Andrea. My first wife and I were both Depression 
> babies--we grew up in houses where non-kin strangers often sat across 
> from us at the dinner table. My mother must have fed half the hobos 
> who streamed through SoCal and Virginia's parents set up beds in their 
> garage so drifting families had a place to camp while they looked for
> When half of Virginia's and my kids were teenage, we took in two other 
> teenagers--a sister and brother whose ages and sexes matched our two
> They were not foster kids, they were just middle-class kids trying to 
> get away from abusive, alcoholic parents. So we gave them a place to 
> stay and food to eat. They were with us for about two years, then the 
> girl went away to college and the boy and our son went to Colorado to 
> try their hands at being ski bums.
> It was probably easier for us because two our kids matched them in 
> ages and they all seemed to like one another. I can't imagine what it 
> would have been like if they had been damaged goods.
> On Dec 27, 2008, at 2:54 PM, andreah wrote:
> Because I value your opinions and experience, I would like some advice 
> from
>> all of you great people.
>> For a couple of years now I have considered off and on possibly 
>> adopting or at least fostering a child. ONE child. I know my limits 
>> and I do not think I could handle more than one. Also, I am speaking 
>> of an older child. No babies.
>> If I wanted a baby I would have had one. Anyway-there are hundreds 
>> that need homes just in S.C.
>> Recently, my consideration has taken a turn more towards a "I think I 
>> really want to do this" attitude. I would like to have a family and I 
>> don't think waiting around on a divorced man with children is the way 
>> to go about it.
>> Anyway-I've spoken with some close friends who have three adopted 
>> children and they've given me some great advice, but I value your 
>> opinions as well.
>> At the moment I am not financially ready, even though I know the 
>> state helps.
>> They help to the tune of about $300 a month here which is nothing.
>> So, advice, opinions, experiences, etc. All would be welcome, good or 
>> bad, yes, or no.
>> I am giving myself a year to get ready. Unless I change my mind and I 
>> don't think I will, hopefully by this time next year I'll at least be 
>> fostering.
>> Cheers!
>> A
>> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
>> To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@hort.net with the 
> Inland Jim
> Willamette Valley
> 44.99 N 123.04 W
> Elevation 148'
> 39.9" Precipitation
> Hardiness Zone 8/9
> Heat Zone 5
> Sunset Zone 6
> Minimum 0 F [-15 C]
> Maximum 102 F [39 C]
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@hort.net with the 

Pam Evans
Kemp TX
zone 8A

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